twenteen, yes you are.

June isn't over yet! it's still your birth month! I hope you get to read this baby! I know i promised you this one, so here it goes!

First of, I am truly blessed and grateful for having you in my life for almost a decade now #fact. I could  not imagine how my life would have become if you didn't cross my path. seriously. I love you, babygirl!

Thank you so much for all the love you've shown to me and the unwavering support that you always express towards me, you should know how much i appreciate them and how much I strength I draw from them.  Thank you also for your patience during my pag iinarte moments hihihi =) and for standing by me during the hardest times of my life. 

I so love our bonding moments together, may it be eating, watching movies, sleeping, laughing and even simple talks about anything. I love our random craziness in the middle of the night during hell week and how we still get to laugh over our thick notes and colorful highlighters. I would always be thankful for every moment of ranting-about-how-we-look because we never get tired of lifting each other's spirits up. I truly found a sister in you. In the same way that you have found a sister in me as well. 

I know this is a bit late, but I would say it anyways. I so love you and I only wish you all the best in every aspect of your life and I would always love to be one of your supporters. I hope that you stay strong and bubbly and pretty and hot. Love yourself because you are just an amazing creation and we wouldn't want you to be anyone than who you are. you know that baby! =) 

I can't wait for the next couple of years, for what life has in store for you. I know you'll do well on your career and by that time, I bet you'd  learn to manage and balance your career with your personal life. I would love to see you fall in love again and be truly happy with the one who will capture your heart. I bet that would be one hell of a lucky guy! yes, anyone who would make your heart flutter would be lucky for he'll be with one amazing woman like you. 

I love you and I am so proud of what you have become. I've seen you grow as a person and maturity is really one thing that I admire you of. I wish I could be even 1/4 as mature as you, but don't get me wrong, I am such a proud sister here. yun lang. I want you to know that I admire and look up to you in some ways. =) yes, some lang, because I know that I am also given the opportunity to contribute on your growth and I want you to know that I will never be tired of listening to your stories about how your day went.  Because I know, more than the friendship that bonds us, we have stronger connection between us. we are sisters, right? there. Ive said my piece. and there goes my promise, so, I'm done =) love love love youuuuu!!!!

I never really thought this would be this long! I'm so glad I made it! =) 

UP SIDE DOWN

on what? wait. i honestly don't have any idea on where to start this post. hmm. wait. i was about to share something about my internship then a thought suddenly passed by my mind, so allow me to just share everything   that's been happening in my world for the past couple of months.

March. i remember blogging about how i survived hell year, which practically was my 3rd year. i guess every one knows or at least had an idea on how struggling life in third year could be. even I, for myself can not believe the loads i had to carry during those times and until now, believe me when I say that I can't imagine myself going back to that moment again. and then there, i give credits to God who did not leave me though i would have given up so many times but he held me up and backed me up instead. 

Enough for that 3rd year life, forgot my title? hahahaha oh yes. a notch higher. but in what way? here's the continuation. 

APRIL - A BREATHER.

 I had basically a great summer, though I practically spent it just by staying at home with my great family. yes. great. it might be kj for some but going out and spending time somewhere instead isn't really my thing. but don't get me wrong, I am not a loner, a homebody, yes.

It's not the perfect 30-day rest that I had since I went to Manila for a couple of times to fix some things regarding my internship and other stuffs concerning it. Aside from that, you'd find me at my grandparents' house, spending time with my cousins whom I rarely see because we're all busy with school and summer is our only time to get together and catch up non-stop. well besides that, you'll see me at home, doing some adik-things and stuff. hahahaha. [only my close friends understand this]

I can barely remember a single day-out that I had during this month. oh, I had two pala. One with my sister, when we dicided to watch Titanic 3D, but ended up on Moron5 since Titanic was no longer showing that time. yeah. we were kind of a loser. hahahhaa. then, as we were having our late lunch, we accidentally bumped into one of my girlfriends, EY. we did a few minute-chat before my sister and I decided to leave. The other day-out that I had was very unplanned.  It was a chill-out day, typical one for me and my sister was at home too. I happened to be online and my other girlfriend, Mabel tweeted me to go to this restaurant nearby because EY and she would have some hang out and they wanted me to be there as well. It made me crazy since I can not think of any reason to refuse the invitation and I don't wanna give them some lame reason for refusing. hahahaha. So, I instantly texted my mom if she could allow me and let me bring my sister with me and she said yes=) So we met up at the resto and had some chit chats for few minutes and headed to another resto-like place afterwards. we ate halo halo and some few hours of small talks and revelations. 

And it ended my April. Boring for some, but it was just what I needed. swear. 

MAY- CRAZIER THAN WHAT I EXPECTED.

 who would have thought that my birthday month would be a ride of roller coaster instead of just pure happiness and positive ideas. Well it sort of concerned my internship, which I really didn't welcome not because I know that it's tiring but because it's just too soon and I didn't want to end my summer yet. I can't do anything about it though. hahahha. So the first week was sort of new to me and my feelings about it was plain. not even excited. #sokjofme Going back to my dorm was like a stab on my chest. yes, masakit talaga. i used to hate the idea of me, staying there during May when everybody else is enjoying their summer with their fam, but Mabel, who apparently was having her OJT made it easier for me since I would have some company during my first 2 weeks=) It made me thankful enough. =)

Then May7 came, a day before my birthday. It was a Monday when I decided to go home since it was my off,  and visit my lolo who was confined that time due to some kidney problems. I arrived at around 1pm and greeted him as I walked into his room. To my surprise, he remembered that it's my bithday tomorrow, so he greeted me. I was so happy. few minutes after our catching up, I noticed that he loves wearing the cap that I gave him which was part of my PE uniform in 2nd year. He asked me to keep it beside him when he sleeps or at least always near him. I found weird though, at first but I followed him. After a few minutes again, he started complaining about his breathing that he was tired and palpitating and his heart beat has crazy patterns. He even told us that someone was running after him, but we, (my 2 sibs, my tita and me) decided to ignore him, for we knew what he meant.

 I really don't want to elaborate much about this. Everything happened so fast, so sudden and we were all stunned when we learned that my lolo has come to his rest. yes, he died. on the day before my birthday. I was shocked for a   moment. I can not see things clearly since my eyes started to be flooded with tears and every thing that I looked at seemed to be blurred. I can not fathom how exactly I felt during those times. It was like I got hit by a lightning and suddenly collapsed. I can not feel anything. His death did not sink into me at that moment. but one thing is for sure, the numbness I felt was due to overflowing pain that was inside me. I felt like I was stabbed on my my chest a thousand times. the pain was unbearable. 

I knew that i had to move. i had to get going. but i did not know how. i did not know anything since it was my first time to experience such. it was something strange. I then received a lot of messages from friends and relatives, some are birthday greetings and the others are sending their condolences. I knew it was real, and i had to accept it. i have to be strong. I knew it. 

Then my brain began to function again. I thought of the things that I had to do and tried to accept things as they happen. and I know that somehow, somewhere, he'll be smiling down on us.

on a lighter note, my birthday came. I celebrated it earlier dung our Sunday duty which happened to be our first 24-hour shift. My co-interns surprised me with a cake which we ate afterwards=) It was unexpected and I was surprised, really. happiness was with me those times. 

The second celebration was again unexpected. I went back to my duty the day after my lolo died, though I spent the night on his wake. So, as I entered the hospital, they greeted me and I could barely smile at them to hide the pain in me. They eventually knew what happened and I got those comforting messages which made my heart feel lighter. 

 It was 6pm and I was about to have my DTR signed to finally go back to dorm and have some rest when one of my girls from other hospital texted me that they'll (with other friends) wait for me at the lobby of the hospital. I knew that they were actually about to invite me for some hang outs since it was my birthday. I would love that idea except that I had no enough money with me that time. I only brought just enough for me to get back to my dorm. hahahaha. 

I was walking through hallway and I accidentally saw them panicking on my presence because they were planning to surprise me. hahahaha. what a scene. cute. I saw them, Didi, Kim, Dane and Vyka, holding cake, bouquet of flowers and presents for me. I tried my best to set my composure and keep calm, but I just melted. I was not expecting anything. text messages are enough for me, at least they remembered my birthday, but that surprise, ugh! memorable. i never saw that coming. it was priceless. 

Just as i was about to smile, the thought of sudden death of my lolo passed through my mind and brought me pain just again. I was a bit hesitant of enjoying the night with my friends but they made me realize that i should not dwell on the pain because they knew that my lolo won't love to see my sad. Grabe. the night was great, but I was so guilty because i spent nothing. we ate dine out at Pancake House, ate cake, I received presents but I DID NOT SPEND A SINGLE PESO. they all paid for me. I was so touched. overwhelmed. no. i can never thank the Lord enough for sending me these gorgeous angels. At the end of the day, I though to myself, I must have done something good in my life to deserve these gifts. 

On the 11th, I went back to Batangas for the funeral of my lolo. the pain began to creep through me again as I watched the living room of their house slowly getting crowded. When the final prayers were recited, I saw some of my relatives cried, I tried to hold back my tears, so as to keep myself silent and calm. When they were about to bring the coffin out of the house, that was the moment when my tears rolled down my cheeks endlessly. the pain was excruciating. But we got no choice but to let them. Saying our final goodbye was never easy. we were all in tears and pain was filling our system. I did not even know how I get to survive each day. 

The days after the funeral were sort of new and adjustments have to be done. I spent several nights at my lola's house trying to make her feel better. Together with my cousins, we would talk to her at night and sleep beside her on their bed. She somehow coped up pretty well and we're just thankful and happy for her. Until now, we're still on the process of healing and somehow, we know that wherever our lolo is, he feels happier and is now watching over us, smiling. 

Oh well. So many things happened in 1 month. And life must go on. 

Thank you, Lord! Another pound of strength and patience was the best gift. 

All glory be to YOU!

advance happy birthday, girl!

i so love this! pretty young lass=)

PAT, I thought about you early this morning and wondering how you’re doing there. God. The Lord above knows how much I/we miss you. Yes. We very much do. I, personally miss us talking about how are we after that week of examinations, burying ourselves with books and over doses of caffeine during those sleepless nights and we would end up laughing ‘cause we can’t believe we’ve made it. Or those incidents when we bump into each other along the corridors and hallways of the main building and me, always asking when will be the next possible Friday/Saturday that we could go home together. And it finally hit me that you are miles away from us and we miss you…every single time that we eat out together (which happens once in a blue moon) or celebrate our anniversary over a cup of frappe or whenever we go out for a movie and celebrate the good times. On the lighter note, I want you to know that I am very proud of what you have become and all the accomplishments you have achieved and I know that life has a lot more to give to a very competent and compassionate young woman like you. I know that you are doing very great there and we, your sisters here can’t get any much prouder!  Go on, girl! We want to see you, really but taking extra ounces of patience here won’t be that bad because alongside waiting, we know that the next time we see each other, we’ll still be those young girls giggling over the cute boys, the only difference will be that we are all pro in our chosen fields, all grown-up women catching up with each other over a cup of coffee.

this will always be my fave photo! very Bella-ish!

advance happy birthday sweetie! as i said above, i know you're doing great there and i am one hell of a proud sister! gasgas na to pero i wish you all the bestest that life has to offer and may God continue to bless you in all aspects of your life. most of all, may he grant all the desires of your heart. i love you girl! and it won't perish even if we're miles apart=) i know i sounded like a lover, but best friends really speak this way=) We miss you! all my hugs and kisses for you! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

i am no writer like you, but i hope you'll take time to read this. =) stay happy, pat! remember, happy girls are the prettiest! See you soon Apeng! =)

---chueerry <3

we survived third year!

yahoo!!
After the longest ten months of my life and most probably the other third year students' as well,  finally, all our hardwork pays off!


- sleepless nights
- late meals (minsan nga skipped meals pa yan e!)
- printed ppt reviewers
- extra doses of caffeine
- ngarag moments during the last three weeks of second sem


grabe. kapag naaalala ko yung mga oras na halos di ko alam ang gagawin ko kapag napuno na yung planner ko ng scheduled quizzes, practicals, homeworks, reports at presentations. grabe. yun yung mga time na inip na inip nako sa paggalaw ng oras hanggang sa magbakasyon na.


makakalimutan ko ba naman ang moment na sinigawan ako ng prof ko sa lab, ay never! sabi ko pa sa sarili ko, kung sa pagsigaw nya nakasalalay yung grades namin, ayyyy, andaming DL! hahaah=) choss!


part na din ng 3rd year life yung matulala ka na lang sa dami ng dapat mong matapos at di mo na alam kung alin yung uunahin mo. ay shems! parang iaalay mo na lang sa Diyos yung lahat kasi parang walang human effort ang sapat para maaccomplish mo lahat ng dapat mong isubmit for the next day.


yung sa mga dapat mong tapusin, may isa talagang di  mo man lang magagawa at aasa ka na lang sa breaktime atvacant periods para dun mo sya mareview. tapos hahanap ka ng tulad mong di nakaaral. haaaayyyyyyy.


siguro nga eto yung matter of life and death, point of no return. yung sobrang laki ng ipagbabago sa lifestyle mo. tipong, di ka makaabsent kapag tinatamad ka kasi ang isang meeting na mamimiss mo, parang 1week yung kailangan para makacope up ka. yung kahit may sakit ka, pipilitin mong pumasok kasi sa sobrang hirap ng subject, mahalaga sayo yung incentive na makukuha mo kapag complete attendance ka. At yung mga panahong mas gugustuhin mo na lang pumasok kahit may bagyo kasi alam mo na kapag nasuspend ang klase, mas masstress ka sa pagschedule ng make up classes.


Minsan, di lang subjects yung problema, may terror profs din. tipong kilala ka na at parang paborito kang patayuin sa klase at pasagutin sa mga tanong nyang napakadami. o di kaya naman, yung tipong di na kayo nakapagdiscuss ng lesson kasi puro kwento sya, tapos kapag naghahabol na sa oras, reporting na lang! #kaloka talaga! puro exams at pre finals na nga, sasabayan pa ng reports! syempre, andyan din naman yung bukod tanging cool lang kahit ngarag na lahat! pero sa lahat, syempre ansarap ng feeling kapag alam mong naiintindihan ng prof yung hirap na pinagdadaanan ng mga third year at siya na mismo yung nagpapalakas ng loob ng mga students nya. =) double thumbs up para sa mga prof na nanay kung mag alaga! =)


nakakabilib din yung mga times na sa mga kaibigan or kaklase ka nakakakuha ng courage para tumuloy pa at wag mag give up. yung sasabihin  nilang kaya pa at magkakasama naman kayo kaya kakayanin lahat. nakakatuwa at nakakainspire yung mga panahong bumabagsak kayo pero nagtatawanan na lang kasi alam niyo na ang dami niyong inaral at yung exam talaga yung may problema! hahahaa. kaloka din yung feeling mo, normal na yung bagsak sa klase at ikaw yung kakaiba kapag pumasa ka. grabe. third year nga naman.


hello internship na!! yeyy! so ngayon, habang vacay pa, bawi bawi muna sa tulog at kain! yeah! Good luck ang God Bless to all incoming third year! kaya nyo yan!!


Just believe that you can do it, and you're half way there!
okay nako. sana kayo din! thank youuuu Lord!

buhay fangirl part 1

sa mga taong nakikilala ko, feeling ko kung may trademark akong maiiwan, yun yung pagiging fan girl ko. as in yun talaga. natatawa nga ako minsan, kapag may bago akong namemeet na tao, yung pagiging fan girl ko yung una kong nasheshare. as in tatanungin ko sya/sila kung napanood ba nila to, or kilala ba nila to ar kung nagagandahan ba silakay ganito/ganyan. ) ang saya saya ko palagi kapag yang mga ganyang showbiz ang topic! peg na peg ko yan! feeling ko, andami kong alam kapag yan yung topic!


e paano ba nagsimula?


eto yung kwento. kapit na friend, mejo mahaba habang kwento to=)


bata pa lang ako, kapag nanonood nako ng mga teleserye, grabe nako umemote! as in emoterang palaka ang peg! so bet na bet ko yang mga judy ann santos at camille prats na show.tapos gagayahin ko sila pero kapag walang nakakakita. syempre, kakahiya kaya! hahah! bet ko maging artista nung bata pero di ko keri umiyak ng bonggels so, rampa rampa lang. hahahaow yes! 


di pako masyadong informed at well briefed sa showbiz until mga grade6 ako or mga grade 5, a basta, bata pa. peg ko yung star circle quest, yung 1st batch. bet ko that time si roxanne guinoo pa, kasi ganda ng face nya, innocent lang, so nasusubaybayan ko talaga yung mga ganpchings sa kanya dati hanggang sa affected nako kapag may issue sya sa ibang contestants. e ayun, nalink sya kay joross gamboa, na eventually naging loveteam nya nga and boyfriend pa. so major kilig nako nun, talaga! kasi ang sweet ng nangyayari, reel and real life sweeties sila=> pero waley pa lang yan. move on nako kaagad. as in nakalimutan ko sila kaagad. bow na yan. 


mas matindi tong next. richard angel ang peg ko. during this time, kapuso kami, around 1st year highschool to. ayy, oo, kasi yan yung time na uso yung pbb pero di ko bet. hahaha. as in richard angel yung peg ko! dati ko lang sila pinapanood sa Click, youth oriented show sya, tapos kambal pa sila jan=) cute!


hanggang sa yun nga, napanood ko yung teaser ng Let the Love Begin nila, yun na! #alamna hahaha=) stage 1 ko yata yun as a fan girl kapag kinilig sa teaser or commercial,  hala ka! hihintayin ko sya palagi icommercial! as in bet ko yang hintay hintay na yan. patience is a virtue sakin e=) so yun talaga yung mga ginawa ko. infairness ha, yung first three movies nila together, pak na pak sakin talaga! as in! 

may konting hurt lang yang mga panahong yan sakin kasi wala akong idea na may Georgina Wilson pala na nag eexist. so, ako naman, sobrang paniwala sa mga nababasa ko sa entertainment column ng broad sheets na binabasa ko sa library ng school namin every lunch break---as in walang palya yan! everyday talaga babasahin ko lahat entertainment sections esp nung malapit na yung playdate ng movie kasi alam kong todo promote na sila! tapos kapag weekends, naaalala ko pa, kapag may article about sa kanila, mega cut ko talaga tapos collect and read always! hahaha. bata pa lang, fan girl na!


So, yun, mejo keri ko na din iaccept na may mga lovelife silang kani kanila. kahit ganun, support all the way pa din ako sa projects nila together. Mulawin, movies, SOP, yung mga guestings and all interviews. 


So after ko mag move on sa richard angel, dito naman ako sa markjen. ay eto talaga. short but sweet yung admiration ko sa kanila. bet ko kasi yung reel to real talaga! so go ako sa kanila! nung una, link link lang tapos pair up na tapos nadevelop at naging totoo. ang cuttteee. yun yung isang reason siguro kung bakit ako naattach masyado, kasi napapaghalo ko yung work nila from their personal lives. e kasi naman, sila din sa totoong buhay, kaya naman di ko rin napigilan umiyak ng malala nung ininterview sila sa startalk at umamin sila na break na nga daw:| grabe din yung iyak ko sa harap ng tv, tapos mga 2 minutes akong tulaley! hahahaha! 

pinanood ko pa yumg movie nila na Say That you Love Me. kilig yun! kabog ang kissing scene sa tabi ng highway! pak! 


tapos, balik ako sa channel2 kasi masyadong maingay tong pangalan ni Sam Milby. Hindi ko naman peg yung fez nya talaga as in. windang nga ako kasi madami may gusto sa kanya e di ko nga sya kilala. Si Toni Gonzaga lang yung kilala ko, and before pa lang, sa channel7, peg ko na sya=) wholesome much ang beauty ni ate! yun. So yun nga, napanood ko sa isang interview na crush daw nitong si Sam si Toni, so mejo may kilig nako nun. at dahil jan, major support nako!


There, napunta sila sa ASAP, e palaging tinutukso yung dalwa, hala ka girl, lalo nako naexcite kasi alam kong totoo nga at hindi paechos lang kasi wala naman silang project together=> *mas peg ko talaga kapag both reel and real ang mga ganap* yun! 


nung una, mga paprod prod lang sa ASAP, hanggang sa nababalita na nga na etong si Sam daw ay tumatawag na at nagtetext na kay Toni (*kasabayan pa sina Luis Manzano at Vhong N!*) at dumadalaw nga daw sa tapings ni Toni! So ako. kilig na naman! yang mga panahong yan, yung kilig ko, pataas pa lang, parang malapit na umabot sa peak=) tapos nung nalaman kong may movie na sila together, I WENT ASJASDFHADKJGFHADJHAFDKJVNKJFVNBKJ!!!!


-yung tipong alam mong may gusto sila sa isat isa sa totoong buhay 
-abang mode ka every night sa star patrol kung may balita sa kanila
-excited ka sa ASAP weekly dahil may prod sila


yan yung leveling ko! lalo pa at first movie nila yan! ayyy! di ko makakalimutan yung thrill ng interviews ni Sam kasi magkasama sina Toni and Luis( napabalitang nanliligaw din kay toni) sa Barcelona for their project at may phone call pa from Toni straight from Barcelona! at umamin pang miss na ang isat isa! dun. dun yung peak ng kilig ko! as in from then on, weekly routine ko na every Sunday ang, ASAP at The Buzz=) 


yung first movie pa lang, 4x ko pinanood sa movie house talaga! first time palang, memorize na namin ng kasama ko yung lines! as in paglabas namin ng sinehan, nagththrow kami ng lines, sya as Sallly (Toni) and ako as Charry (Jodi) who was the bida's sister. and that's where i got my other name! pinanindigan ko na talaga ang charry since 2006 na nag evolve na into chue. hahhaa. 


grabe din yung nangyari sa mundo ko nung nainlove ako sa loveteam nato. eto yung mga times na kung anong gusto ni toni, yun din gusto ko at yung way ng pagsasalita nya, ginaya ko na! pak! 

dumating sa time na nalink si Sam kay Anne Curtis, ay. wala na. jan na nagsimula ang pakikipaglaban ko kay reality! nung una, deny deny pa hanggang sa nung malapit na i air yung Maging Sino ka Man, umamin na na nagkakamabutihan na daw nga! edi mega hintay ako sa sagot ng toni about the issue! ayun! sumagot nga na wala daw syang karapatan blah blah tapos ako yung mega react jan! choss!!


parang ganito. 


Sila: uhm, okay kami lahat. magkakaibigan naman kami...
ako:;; mga traydor kayo!! ikaw dghdd malandi kaaaa!!ncckvjfkvjfkjkjfsdvnxcmvnakjvhkjsdvchakfhvdkh


o diba!ako ang affected! hahahaha!! aba! ganyan talaga! boycot ko talaga shows ni anne nun, super wala akong makitang maganda sa kanya kahit ako na lang mag isa yung may ayaw sa kanya, keber lang! inagaw nga nya si sam kay toni para sakin e! hahhaha! yun yon! 


kahit na maugong ang balitang sila anne at sam na nga, pinanood ko pa din ang mga SAMTIN movies multiple times with dvd's pa! yeah! hahaha! proud much! dumating din yung time sakin na dapat masaya ako for Toni's new project, kapag hindi si Sam ang kasama, di ko na peg agad agad. totoo! wala nang usap usap! as in kung hindi samtin. waley na! 


So there, hanggang sa nagkaroon na ng Paul Soriano sa picture! nung una, akala ko, wala lang, di magtatagal echos lang, kaya lang, nalaman kong anak ng pastor. yun! BOOM! i went like sjdfkdfgfjfkdjh'kdfjgdf'kjhzfkhjfkghj'kgthjkfjgkfdjhkdfljh'gfhjzgj'odfjkzhjt'hjopifjhzfdkjhklbnf,hkmngkbjfkhjh'kj!!!!!!!!***** naman e! hirap kalaban! sobrang bait! tapos peg pa ng lahat for toni! so lahat masaya ako lang hindi. ayyyy=(((((( akala ko pa magbbreak kaagad, kaya  lang parang si Lord naman yung kinakalaban ko nito. hahahaha. choss!!! 


grabe yung epekto nyang mga yan sa buhay ko talaga! mahihimatay talaga ako sa dalawang yan palagi! ay grabe. parang kailangan ako lagi ibrief na may buhay din akong akin na hindi sila kasali, pero wala e, apektado ako ng grabe! as in may time pa na sila lang yung pinagdadasal ko palagi or wish ko sa birthday ko! as in naging buhay ko talaga sila! 


di ko alam na as days pass by pala na naghihiwalay sila, parang napapagod nadin ako umasa at umiyak (may boypren ang peg) kasi kakapagod at kakahiya na din magkwento no! grabe lang yung mga reactions na nakukuha ko kapag nagkkwento ako! (lakas makalovelife!haahahah)lalo na nung umamin na din si toni na sila na ni paul! mega cry ako with the rain falling pa talaga that time ha! as in! yun yung grabeng nakakahiyang reason kapag tinatanong ako kung bakit daw ako malungkot. chos!




peak na yata yung My Amnesia Girl. parang dun nako bumigay yata talaga. parang nasabi ko nun, ay tama na. yoko na. let go mo na chue! hahaha! after 4years ng pagiging samtinner, tama na talaga. mag move on ka na. ayun. para kasing napuno nako. ayoko na. sakit na. so, after, wala nako nirereactan lalo na about kay sam, kasi parang unti unti ko na nafeel  na imposible na talaga. 


ayun, tumuloy nako sa lifeness ko. parang mas magaan naman kasi, more of si toni na lang yung todo todo ko sinusupport. as in nabuhos na sa kanya lahat, pero mas madali na kasi kahit kanino na sya ipair, keri ko na=) ayun. steady life na lang. minsan, youtube youtube din ng mga shows niyang di ko napapanood or fanpage nya para sa updates. so kapag may nalaman nakong bago sa isang araw, okay na yung buong araw ko=)


simula college, ganyan na, hanggang sa minsan, nakakalimutan ko na nga na magresearch ng updates kasi parang kakapagod and naisip ko din na kaya ko naman palang wala, so yun. 
pero totoo nga, kapag minsan, akala mo yun pa din yung gusto mo o yung mahal mo pero marerealize mong state of mind na lang or nakasanayan na lang, kapag tinry mong bumitaw na, di naman pala mahirap. 


Sa ngayon, kebs nako kay Toni, well, syempre hindi totally, pero atleast, keber na lang me most of the time! hahaha=) keri ko na sila ni Paul, atleast she remains as a good friend to Sam=) parang best of both worlds din! in fact, peg ko na si Paul! waiting na lang tayo. tengga for the wedding announcements nila ni Toni! =)




haba no?? di pa yan tapos! may mga kalerks pa!


So, from Samtinner, naging Toniliciouz naman ako. so di nakaligtas sakin ang sister nya, si Cathy G naman na nalink kay Kean Cipriano na ikinakilig ko din!hahahaha! 


Grabe ha! TV5 naman ang peg ko! kaloka! 

eto naman, kilig naman ako sa show nila! BFGF! e may issue na may something na nga daw sila! so eto na naman, reel and real ang atake sakin! iba naman ang pagtanggap ko dito, aside from write ups and shows, mega tambay din ako kay manong youtube para sa videos nila at kay manong twitter para sa mga posts nitong si sir kean! grabe! 


Alam mo yung kapag gusto mong magpahinga, instead na matulog ka, magnenet ka na lang para sa updates nila or magyouyoutube ka para sa videos na 1million times mo na napanood! lumelevel up din talaga yung mga alam kong sources e! hahaha=))


tapos. biglang may kalahating australianang batang babae na nag artista. yun. at takang taka ako kung bakit mas pinili nya sa tv5 e pwede nman syang sumama na lang sa ate nyang tinaguriang dyosa sa channel2. yun. sya na nga! grabe din ang galit ko jan. parang history repeats itself a! nobayan! parang ang tingin ko nun, mang aagaw sila. hahaha. nakakatawa talaga! Nung nalink sya kay kean, ay grabe yung galit ko. grabe. hahaha. pero di kasi masyadong halata that time kasi i had pharmacology, so there, parang mas inerereklamo ko yung pharmaco at org chem kesa sa bv sa kealex nun. hahhaaha. kaya siguro eventually, naging kebs na lang ako=)


*move on move on din*


yan! dapat isasama ko yung julielmo e. pero gagawan ko sya ng sariling post. ang haba e!


GOD BLESSS

bumpy ride

may mga panahon talaga na gusto mo na lang bumigay sa mga dumadating sa yo, mga bagyo na parang mas malakas pa sa pinakamatinding typhoon signal na konting konti na lang masisira ka na, yung buong ikaw. pero syempre parang ang unfair ko naman na kapag happiness ang nangyayari open arms ang peg kong reaction tapos kapag bad times na, mega emote at angry bird ang peg ko. hahhaha. syempre behind my rants and twitter venting, e andun naman palagi sakin yung hope at excitement na malampasan yung pinagdadaanan ko. feeling ko, ang gaan kong tao na may bagong natutunan at mas malakas pa kesa dati. haaaaayyy life.


minsan nakakapagtaka din talaga na may mga panahong lie low si problems at negativity sa buhay mo, as in absent sya tapos kapag dumating na, BOOM! big time! as in laging gusto dramatic entrance ang peg na di mo na maintindihan kung alin ang una mong iisipin at pag eemotan kasi nga sabay sabay silang umatake. kaloka! ganun na bako kastrong para ganun kalakas ang mga to kung magsidatingan?? wow ha! I'm proud!


grabe din e. eto nga at napapost ako ng wala sa oras. as in hindi pinag handaan. walang draft draft. hindi rin flowery words at talagang tagalog na. hahaha. parang artistang nagpa presscon na kakagising lang at humarap sa media ng walang make up. oh well, minsan nga siguro, kahit gaano mo ipakitang kaya mo pa yung isang bagay/problema, makakalimutan mo ding itaas ang pride mo at bibigay ka na lang. syempre kakatakot naman lalo na wala ka nang maireact sa mga nangyayari at mamanhid ka na. ayoko naman ng ganun. parang na immune na ako sa problema. parang kebs na lang ako sa lahat ng dadating. yung tipong wala ka nang emosyong maibigay.


pero at this very moment, natatawa na lang ako. baliwpolar na nga yata ang peg ko. eto kasi yung point sa buhay ko na hindi ko alam kung ano yung paghahandaan ko. wala akong idea sa kung ano ang pwedeng mangyari at kung ano ang mrereact ko. ako kasi yung tipo na ayoko ng nacacaught off guard ako. gusto koo lagi akong handa. kaya nga praning nako minsan e. lahat na ng posibleng mangyare, napaghahandaan ko ang gagawin ko. ayoko yung spontaneous o go with the flow. gusto ko nakaplano at alam ko yung pupuntahan ko lalo na sa mga bagay na wala akong kasama, yung mga ganitong mag isa lang ako. yung ako lang yung haharap at lalaban habang yung ibang taong kakilala ko, maghihintay lang sa kung anong mangyayari sakin. may pagperfectionist nga ako minsan e. yun. kasi ayokong makakita ng mali. yung masakit sa mata. yung mahirap tanggapin. yung masakit sa iba. people pleaser ang peg? yep. yun yung nature ko e. pero di naman palagi. bahala kayo basta eto nako. kakapagod din kaya yun. di naman ako consistent sa pagiging ganun a. keber na lang din ako sa sasabihin at iisipin ng iba basta ginagawa ko to para sa sarili ko. yown! shhot diba?


parang ang layo ng narating ko masyado. wait. mag iisip muna ko ulit. baka kaya lang ako nagkakaganito e dahil nasobrahan na sa pahinga ang utak ko at kailangan ko na sya magamit ulit. for the mean time, aayusin ko muna tong sasakyan kong medyo mafaflat na yung gulong dahil sa laki at tulis ng mga batong nadadaanan ko at aayusin ko muna yung bubong na malapit nang masira dahil sa lakas ng hangin at ulang sinasagupa ko. di naman ako papabayaan ng driver ko e=) di naman nya ko dadalhin sa bangin agad agad. siguro makakarating naman ako sa dapat kong puntahan nang maayos, kahit sira yung sasakyan, magagawan to ng paraan. edi hahanap ako ng short cut. kung pwede nga lang. hahaha=) time out!


GOD BLESS US ALL!

SIZI

i intentionally did not greet her on facebook and tumblr. because i have so many things to say and i have no plans of huddling on her timeline or dashboard. besides, i have my own account where i can post as much as i want to just to greet this lovely lass on her special day.


She's now 19 and I can't believe that I've known her for over a decade now. aww. kapag naiisip kong sabihan sya ng ganito sa personal, naiimagine kong sasabihan nya kok ng "nay aso" =) hahahaha.


well, aside from what I wrote on my letter that her 'friend' asked me to do, i still have a  lot more to say. sa here it goes sizi,

First, you're 19 already but you stay as sweet and naive as a kiddo. alam mo yan=)  parang lagi pa ding bago sayo lahat ng bagay. you keep on exploring and finding things on your own. telling me stories of your new discoveries and how giddy you are when we tak on the phone for your new kwentos--sobrang nakakamiss at nakakatuwa. =)


you've been hurt but you never stopped loving. this is something about you that i will always be proud of. your heart was broken several times and shattered into thousand pieces but you continuously pick them and mend your heart on your own. grabe. you are very strong. i admire your strength and every courage to take risk and follow your heart and fall in love. nakakainggit ka sizi. you know how scared i am when it comes to the matters of the heart that's why i always remind you to guard your heart. =)


from a very naive daddy's little girl (or lola's or everybody's) who's been through a lot to an enchanting lass who makes every guy get smitten  by her charm and now turning into a strong woman. kakaiyak ka sizi. =( a strong woman now ready to face the world.


I can still remember nung...(*hala ka. nagkwento na!*) yun nga. alam mo bang you were the first person who slapped me in my face (not lilterally) remember nung punakita mo sakin si Georgina Wilson??? at kung maipagdikdikan mong hindi magiging si Richard at si Angel dahil magandang Georgina na yan. hahaha. yun talaga at everytime nakikita ko si Georgina, naaalala kita=) since then, every time magkakaron ako ng kwento tungkol sa loveteam, inaabangan ko na yung reaction mo, kung pano moko tatawanan at makikinig sa kilig moments ko. =)) oh well, memorable high school =)


Pero eto na talaga, we have the present to live with. I honestly have no updates about you. sad it is. but as i can see, you are happy. well, i hope so. happily committed?? that's something for us to talk about soon=) happy with FRIENDs?? oh yesss!!! I bet you have a lot to tell me! Yes! PRESENT!


this is what i am really looking forward. our futureee!!! yeyyy!!! (sounds like a lover. #nobayan) we're almost through with our hell year!! we're graduating students few months from now! then we'll graduate na then you'll work and make money money money then ako mag aaral pa then yayaman ka. then mas madamin ka nang time then may boyfriend ka then wala kang time sakin lalo=( hell no! this is suppose to be the katuparan ng lahat ng mga plano. since may trabaho ka, prepare for my demands. hahaha. eto talaga yung point ng blog ko na to. ang warningan ka dahil sa patagal na ng patagal ang friendship natin, at yun  nga pag nagtrabaho ka na, lagi mokong dadaawin at ittreat=))) yeyyyy!!! exciteddd!!! ahahahahah=)) kidding aside.


on a more serious note, i can very well recall our promise that someday, we'll walk along the famous cities in Europe with me or i acn see myself clapping on the front row because you've had an amazing and successful fashion show, or crying myself to death with trisha on your wedding day wearing our bridesmaid's gown and witnessing you as you give your vow to your groom=((( naiiyak nako grabe. then finally, i can't miss the first christening of your future eldest with me as the ninang=(( wag mo yan tatawan dahil totoo yan!! it will happen! i know! in God's time! =) wag apurahin=) hahahha! #choss!


i think i've said enough and i've cried hard enough on this one. how fast time flies, indeed!


Sizi, you're a very inspiring woman and i can't think of what my life would have become without you in it. I wish you all the best on this day and the rest to come! I love you and I am aways here for you! you know that! all my love and care and suppoet and prayers for you girl! xoxo