Holy Wednesday: Pwede magbago ng isip?

Hi, pwede bawiin yung last post ko? Ah, ganito kasi, medyo parang ang OA ko kahapon...parang 'di naman pala ako ganon kalala' pero true naman yung kinilig ako, pero ngayon, after reading it all over again, natatawa ako sa sarili ko. Never thought I'd have that enough 'kakapalan ng muhka' na magreklamo ng ganon. But it was funny, though. Let me clear it again, kumalma na ko by now, and I no longer feel that 'kaOA-an kilig', but the 'thing' I posted yesterday was real. As in ganon yung nafeel ko, but for some reasons, I'm composed again by now. But then naconfused naman ako as to how I really feel. (Rhea May, ano ba talaga? Napakagulo mong bata!!) *scratches head*

Anyway, good thing that I did not wake up today at an unusual hour, which made feel a lot better. (kaya siguro ako kalmado) But, I still have thoughts about this cutie (napakalanding bata). hahaha (parang high school) I actually attempted to ask for a sign kahapon, as to whether I'd entertain this whole 'kagagahan' or just die (jk) exert extra effort to shrug this thing off again (since, ilan bases ko naman na sya nagagawa in the past) But due to some fears and hesitations, I decided to not pursue the "sign-asking" and just decide to try to keep as calm and composed as possible. In short, wag na mag-OA. 

And now, I'd like to congratulate myself for doing a great job so far. *pats self at the back* Good start, rhea girl! *wink* I really hope, you'll make it and maintain it during the holy week. But whatever happens this succeeding days/weeks, expect me to update you dear, and try to be a open-book as much as I could (umaartista level ka girl!), to see where this crazy journey ends. Let's see how far this 'pagpipigil' can go. hahahaha parang reality show. So you better be expecting some random shifts in mood from OA kilig up to dead affect or kalmado mood (parang ngayon)hahaha. 

But now seriously, I feel light and calm to atleast express it and let it out. At least 'walang judgmental' people around. hehehehe and you can't get annoyed with this mood swings I'm throwing at you. You just gotta accept whatever I say, love. wala kang choice! hahahaha (villain laugh) *lucky me* 

And so, there you go my early-morning/ just-woke-up feels and thoughts for this Holy Wednesday. 

P.S. Last day in school today!!! And I only have 1 exam to take before I could finally go home and cuddle with my doggie!!! missed Chloe so much! k.bye. 

God Bless everyone!!  

weird

I woke up a few hours earlier than my supposed alarm, which is weird. It's actually the second or third time since it started happening to me last week. (di 'to horror, but pwede din since natatakot na'ko) The even weirder thing is that, I wake up between 2-3am,  thinking about the same person. Wait, I know this, but no, wait I don't think I'm ready. wait....uhm, like no, this can't be happening now. I've gone through this and passed by it years ago, and I'm fully well....uhm, until now. This ain't suppose to be happening. Like, wait, I don't want to jump into conclusions or let my pessimist self prevail, but I really do feel like this won't lead to anything pleasant or any sort of you know, mutual something. I can't even believe I let myself get into this again.  (Ano ba, Rhea May!!) And, I didn't see this coming like, 'Hey it was just a fine day!' yesterday and suddenly I woke up realizing that I've been thinking a lot about this PLAIN HUMAN BEING lately. And hell, it makes me crazy. Like, srsly. It's like my heart's exploding anytime by now with just a single thought of him. Sobrang weird like as in over and beyond my control. I used to believe I'm a calm and composed person when it comes to controlling my feelings, but how in the world did I not see this coming? Can you feel my frustration and disappointment with myself?! Alam mo yon! Unang una, sayang yung tulog ko, sayang sa oras, nakakawala ng composure, nakakakaba, nakakabaliw, nakakatulala, I can't function well, bigla na lang akong mapapasmile for no apparent reason, muka akong baliw, nakakawala ng pagka-madam. I don't think being this attracted and feeling all the butterflies and being mushy and all don't suit me. Feel ko di bagay sakin yung ganitong kilig kilig of my own story. like, yuck. "Rhea May, umayos ka nga!" I kept scolding myself since 2am this morning. And for some weird reason, di ko mapigilan talaga----the smile, goosebumps, the shrills. oh my gosh the kilig, like "sana kainin muna ko ng lupa," but still, another thought of him, and then smile plus kilig (additional factor pa yung musical scoring by Spotify which is Angel of Mine) and please, last na to... RHEA MAY, UMAYOS KA! MAG EEXAM KA PA! *sabunot sa sarili* #tamanapls

HOLY WEEK 2016: HOLY MONDAY

Is it proper to greet everyone a Happy Holy Monday? (That doesn't sound right, does it?) Anyway, I hope you're all having a great and blessed week, or at least spend some good time with your family and loved ones. As for my case, (and other students and employees)  I'm still having school until Holy Wednesday, so expect blog post that are school-related for the coming days, lol. Anyhow, I just want to share how great I feel now, because I get to blog a lot lately. (Which I really planned weeks ago) I used to think that I might just really be a 'sad' person coz I don't have someone (or people) around me with whom I can share these thoughts with, but then after a long time I realized, maybe I wasn't really sad, but just 'private' (naks! arte ko pls!)hahaha It was actually my choice to just remain private about my insights and thoughts and just plainly express it through blogging. 

As I grew up, I got to encounter different kinds of people; some are great and have shared a lot of insights and amazing memories with me, and some who are not-so-pleasant and have taught me a lot of lessons in ways I did not expect. Sad to say, those people who belong to the latter category have made a great impact on me, which is why I chose to be over-protective of myself. Well in all honesty, I find it a good thing because I get to guard myself and prevent some possible 'issues' with people. So far, not so good at first, but I managed to control my feelings and still get along with people pretty well (I hope). 

Another thing, just so you know, I have a 'lighter' schedule today until Wednesday, another reason why I'm feeling happy and ecstatic! From this day up to April 15th will be exams and completion of several requirements, and then.....INTERNSHIP na. (**faints**) I know I've mentioned it so many times, but really, I'm never ready for internship!!!! hehehe (though a part of me is actually having a cartwheel now due to excitement) 

So there you go guys! How's your Holy Monday so far? Stay blessed!!

*selfie before going to my OB class this morning!*

guess who went to school unprepared for her IM long quiz

#forevercrammer

SUNDAY CURRENTLY VOL. X

Hello! The photo above shows how preoccupied I am today, out of focus and obviously not in the mood to study for my upcoming presemestral/long exam tomorrow. Originally, I planned to start reviewing at 9am today, but for 'great reasons', I chose to get up a bit late this morning. And so, that's the brief history of  my 'lazy Sunday' today. It is so untimely for me to think of blogging and just 'chill' knowing that DEATH MARCH has started. But since I am great at cramming, (which is definitely never good) here I am, basically chilling....just as how those 'non-med/non-toxic people' do.   *smirk*

Let me share with my 'super-chill-Sunday-Currently'

Currently...

Reading: NO TRANS/MED-RELATED whatsoever, but random tweets, blogs, online fashion magazine, travel diaries and the likes *wink*

Writing: Aside from this SC post, I am actually trying to organize my finances/expenses and trying to budget for upcoming weeks. 

Listening: Currently playing is Cheerleader by OMI (c/o: Spotify)

Wearing: Plain V-neck shirt and shorts. It is very rare that I am out of the bed and plainly sitting here while typing this post. I would usually stay on my bed during the whole day of Sunday and just get up whenever I need a bathroom break. ganon katamad. #sorrynotsorry

Thinking: Whether I'd ask for permission from my parents if I can go to Ilocos with some friends before the internship...but that would delay me from opening my bank account since I'm planning to not ask for 'allowance' if ever it happens. 

Wishing: To get through the last few weeks of third year in MedSchool and get in smoothly through internship (hope it's possible!)

Praying: For good grades this semester, and please, let my diet work! :p

Hoping: That I can finally open my bank account before summer break!

Feeling: hungry. And today's my cheat day, so I am eating this sinful tuna sandwich with lots of mayo and condensed milk and cream cheese (that I made 2 nights ago), along with a bag of potato chips and orange juice. #kainpamore

Wanting: In fairness, that Pandora bracelet that I've been eyeing for the past month is still on the top of my list. I promise to buy that first after all this 'saving-for-bank account' come into reality. 

Loving: WALA TALAGA AS OF NOW.  as in, flat affect ako about everything during this moment. Well, as much as I want to put something here, wala talaga e. Wag ko na ipilit. hahahaha bato lang ang peg. BUT, who knows....malay nyo, sooner or later may mapost ako, kahit hindi sa Sunday Currently! hahaha abang abang din pag may time. chos.

Anyway, that's basically how I'm spending my Sunday today. By the way, it's Palm Sunday! I still can't believe we're going to school until Wednesday! (Hello, first time ko may pasok during Holy Week!) But, tanggap ko na yon even before. hehehe So now, on my list: eat, nap, internet, movie, study (7pm). joke. bahala na. :)

Happy Sunday!! God Bless us!     

truth be told

How do I even begin with this? For the past days, I was feeling kind of bothered, but I was too reluctant to share it or even blog about it. At first, I tried shrugging off the thought, hoping that I'd eventually forget about it, but I guess the more I tried ignoring it, the more it bothers me. So now, I'm trying to calm my nerves and shaking fingers to be able to let it out in the most discreet way possible. 

So, I miss you. There's no other way I could say it, so yes, I miss you. 

As I've said, I tried ignoring the thoughts of you whenever you cross my mind--like I kept trying to be busy or get preoccupied and all, but at the end of the day, it boils down to that. And those memories of good times and toxic nights and random talks would flash and cloud my head until I get lost just again. Just like now. 

UY

uy, inlove yata ako! char. joke lang. echos. napadaan lang! pero pag nainlove na nga ako, sige post ko. hahahaha joke. goodnight na!  

current playlist

Hi again! as of the moment, I'm enjoying great music (thru Spotify) and I'd like to share my top 10 picks for the past weeks. The list consists of upbeat songs or feel good ones that I listen to every morning to put me in great mood. These are my current favorites, and by that, it would mean longterm favourites. 

1. YOUTH by Troye Sivan

2. Hide Away by Daya

3. Work by Rihanna

4. Waiting For Love by Avicci

5. Work from Home by Fifth Harmony

6. Salute by Little Mix

7. Roses by The Chainsmokers

8. Dazed and Confused by Jake Miller, Travie McCoy

9. Crush by Yuna, Usher

10. Same Old Love by Selena Gomez

Usually, after 2 or 3 repeats of my playlist, I am all set and ready to go to school. So no matter how hectic or toxic my loads for the day is, I make sure to start with good vibes. And what other way to do it but music, yeah?