my more than two cents :)

i've been writing lots about love lately. noticed that? hihi august seems to be my love month after all. #alammoyan so, here's another topic for you guys.

To tell you quite honestly, i am hesitant to post this because it WAS contradicting to my stories before. but since i learned a lot from those past experiences, here i am sharing with you guys the lessons and realizations that I got from them. ready?

Here's the mind-bugging question now: why do most people prefer being MU (mutual lovers) over being an official couple?

here are some reasons why:

1. Strict parents.

or, could be,gusto ng parents na magfocus muna sa studies. I guess this one's the safest yet the lamest reason that I used to hear. first of all, kung talagang nagmamatter sayo ang words ng parents mo, you won't get into any relationship that would entail intimacy. gets? edi sana lahat ng tao sa paligid mo, you treat them equally. no one's treated in a special way over the others. wala kang lovelife. definitely. pure friends lang lahat. hindi it's complicated ang status mo. wala kang katext every day and every night. (pero meron e) para kapag tinanong ka ngn parents mo ng 'anak, may boyfriend ka na ba?' sasagot ka naman ng 'wala pa'  diba ang hirap nyan? you choose to deny your feelings kasi bawal umamin? a no-no! eto lang ha, you can never be a good daughter/son and a good lover at the same time. there'll always be time when you'll have to choose on which side to put your loyalty to.

2. Focus sa studies

ayaw ng commitment and focus sa studies? WEH?? kaya ba okay lang na malate ang review time, wag lang malate ang reply sa kanya? (relate??) mas matagal magkausap kesa mag aral? ganyan? ganyan na ba ang focus ngayon? ang alam ko sa focus, you are directed straight ahead. no side glance, well, you can have that, but you do not actually entertain the thought or the feeling kasi nga you have your priority (not priorities.) put first things first. if that's love na talaga, you'll wait for you to be both ready. kung mahal ka nyan. hihintayin ka nyan. agree?

3. ayaw ng commitment.

di ko to gets why. some said, mas mahirap daw kapag official na. so ano to? testing the water forevs? you act as couple pero may compromise na bawal maging kayo? or you choose na wag maging kayo? bakitttt?? para walang gastos sa celebration ng monthsary and anniversary? ugh. lame yan uy! hahahha or, seriously, you ain't ready for the responsibility? big word? yes. RESPONSIBILITY. ayan. big word na talaga. why? don't you trust yourself enough to handle a relationship? really, what do you boys (yeah, not men) get in this? is this the lose less get more kind of a relationship where you exert less effort yet treated equally as an official boyfriend? #patawadsatinamaan hoy ha! grow some balls! you don't kiss the girl and tell everyone na nanliligaw ka pa lang! ano yan? easy access to wealth or advance claiming a prize? hihi #patawad there's a thin line between MU and courtship. learn how to separate those two.

if you're in this situation, you can't really say na di ka committed. why? commitment is not defined by the label of the relationship, but by the feelings you invest on your relationship. #word o ha, personal yan. agree?? no matter how you try to deny it, the fact that you get yourself attached to soomeone, you get yourself committed. yay or nay? why not make official na lang?  since yan na yung level nyo? wouldn't it be easier and less complicated if you get to claim something that's entitled to you already? see the analogy?

4. fear of heartbreak.

sadhgkjfhksdjhsdjhfk;sfjg; lang sa may ganitong rason.kung totoong di ka makakaexperience ng heartbreak sa MU, aba! mag MU-han na lang tayong lahat! hay. patawad na po ngayon pa lang sa mga susunod kong masasabi. HOY! kung ayaw mong masaktan, wag kang mag invest ng feelings! maglaro ka na lang! yan ang sinasabi ko sayo e. papasok ka sa MU tapos masasaktan ka? you are entitled to be hurt oy! kasama yan sa package. pero walang warranty and walang karapatan magselos at magreklamo. ayan kasi. ayaw pa ng official e.  lol nasa kontrata yan. kidding aside, you don't get into this kind of relationship with the guarantee of not having your heart broken. and to tell you honestly again, the pain or heartbreak that one experience from this is much worse than that coming from a break up. know why? coz it was clearly your choice to put yourself in that situation. you know you could've done better but you chose to save your pride instead. and then sing this song, 'what happened to us? we were almost there' (song: almost by Tamia)

5. committed na sa iba.

ooopsss. relate? tapusin na yan. sakit sa ulo lang yan. hahaha seriously, here's a word:  you can never love two persons at the same time at the same degree.

writer's note: my blog. my opinion. peace y'all :) by the way, malabo ba? oo nga no? parang pro's and con's of the MU relationship ang peg. hayaan mo na, ako din nalabuan e. :)

ano ba tayo? paki DTR nga!

Hiiii!!   I am supposed to be studying for my quiz and long practical exam tomorrow, but here i am, writing another mushy and  eklavern post. Hehe i was just thinking a lot about this DTR thing. Korek! That’t the topic! DTR—as in define the relationship. Lol. See, mushy topic indeed. Haha wala lang, i just find the topic too confusing and too mainstream lately. Alam nyo naman ako, may pagkapakialamera sa mga tao. Hihihi :D patawad!

So, yun nga, expound natin. Ikaw ba, have you been into a relationship wherein you yourself is not fully aware (naks!tulog lang??) or knowledgeable (medyo formal, scratch that) or sure about what you and your partner (partner na nga ba?) have? Nako! Basahin mo to dali! Loljk. Yung mga tipong you yourselves know that you’re attracted to each other, or you treat each other differently among others, or to the point that you guys actually act as couple but then deny each other once asked about your relationship. Wow ha! It’s complicated na medyo saksak puso! Meron din naman na, vocal sila about there feelings towards each other, and expressive sa kung anuman ang meron sila para sa isa’t isa, but when asked, sasabihin, “we’re just friends.” Minsan, defensive pa, ‘ganun lang talaga sya.’ Sometimes di ko din alam kung ako ba yung niloloko nila or sarili na lang din nila para di mag assume. Oh well, i can’t blame them, especially yung mga girls, who wouldn’t want to look like they’re claiming something unofficial. Hihi hashtag alamnyoyan

And eto na nga, dito na tayo sa part na magulo. Yung thrilling part. Thrilling kasi kahit malalim na ang gabi e, para kang nakainom ng isang litrong kape dahil di ka makatulog sa kakaisip ng mga moments nyoo together and ikaw sa sarili nagtatanong kung ano ba yung ginagawa nya sayo, or ano ba yung mga sinasabi nya sa yo at gaano kadalas ba syang ganun sa yo? Funny no? I have lots of friends, (as in A LOT OF THEM) who have undergone this already. Hahaha sige lang girls, ideny nyo, FO tayo! Sure na! Loljk. Well, uso nga kasi yang mga ganyan. Sa age ba naman natin, sarap kaya kiligin! Aminin! Then some would not initially tell their friends pa, hihintayin niyang kusang mapansin ng friends nya yung mga abnormal (patawad!) nyang kilos. Hahaha may ganyan e. Madami sila! :D peace! Then once asked, eto na naman sina linyang patay malisya: ‘friends lang kami’ ‘ganyan talaga yan’ ‘wala, nagtetext lang, grabe naman kayo.’ Oh! Tamaan ng kidlat ang magdedeny. Lol. I, myself, ganyan ako e. Ganyan style ko J care mo? Haha joke.

Here comes the question: friends nga lang ba?But, friends don’t treat each other like that! Lol. Makapag english lang.  Teka, how do you define friends and friendship by the way? Ang alam ko sa friends, di naman kailangang palaging magkatext, (unless, clingy kayo.lol) or di naman dapat nag uupdate sa mga whereabouts, or doesn’t act as if he/she owns you. Pakak! Kamusta checklist mo? Bingo ba? Hahaha :D oha, confused ka na? Bakit? Lagi mo ba katext? Palagi bang kayong dalawa yung magkasama kahit may iba ka namang circle of friends? Lagi ka niyayaya maghang out somewhere na kayo lang? Laging may damoves? Nako, wag na wag kang makadeny na di mo alam ang damoves ha! Babae ka! Kapag naconfuse ka na at nagstart magtaka sa mga kinikilos nyan, pak! Right time to ask na about DTR before ka pa mafall sa kanya at di na makabangon muli. Want that? Hahaha no diba? Or, gusto mo mag go with the flow na lang? (which is too mainstream now, really) Don’t get me wrong ha, im not against those who prefer that kind of relationship, syempre kung saan ka masaya at ano ang deserve mo, dun ka! Walang basagan ng trip! :D 

o, teka, confused ka pa? Wait, ganito nga yon, after all the sweet nothings you guys have shared,  you’ve reached the point of curiosity (finally!) about the real status of your relationship. Problem that may arise is that, mapride ka (mapride talaga??) in a way na you don’t want to be the first one to open the topic. Common yan sa girls. J of course, girls have reservations. We have this kind of thinking na, ayaw namin ng kami yung mauuna or magiinitiate na pag usapan yung whatever it is that we share. Guys are basically the ones responsible for it. Syempre, sila naman madalas yung nauunang magbigay ng motibo e, so, definitely, sila yung magbigay ng label! Right?! So there. Settled. J

another problem about that, what if walang plano si guy na linawin or lagyan ng label yang status nyo at prefer nya yung go with the flow na lang? EHEM EHEM. Wag guilty kung natatamaan ka. J  then, this is where your pride needs a little challenge and justiceJ  kumbaga, sort of letting some of your guards down, BUT,  trying to pull up your standard and defense. It’s something risky coz it takes a two-way process. When you initiate the conversation about, you better be firm about your stand and what you want in the first place regardless of what his decision may be. Hindi yung, ang lakas ng loob mong pag usapan nyo yan and magdecide kung ano kayo, but in the end, wala kayong nasettle. This entails a lot of courage and openness to what his take about  your relationship is. Hirap no? Ganun talaga! Hahahha harsh! You have to decide on how to set things straight and do something about it with consistency and precision. (naks! Scientific and mathematical terms oh!) but seriously, get straight to the point. If your precise about the friendship, then act as friends, and do it consistently. Hindi yung sa simula, malinaw na friends lang then eto ka na naman, confused kasi sweet na naman sya. One thing girls, kung medyo lumilihis ng landas si koya, (KOYA TALAGA!)  at may pahiwatig na naman, ibriefing mo ulit. Hahaha :D wag na mag padala. Okay? Para ka lang nadadapa at lumubog ka pa lalo at inenjoy ang putikan. Got my metaphor? Remember: mas masakit yan itigil kapag tumagal na J believe me, kapag paulit ulit mo na yan ginawa, magegets nya na yan J hehe basta, you have to stand firm on your decision pangatawanan mo yan. Pinili mo yan e. Haha

another problem: what if ayaw ng both parties mag DTR? Ewan ko naman kung anong isssue sa childhood meron ang mga ganito, but, whatever it is, BAHALA SILA. Nakikichismis ka na nga lang, makikialam ka pa? Care mo ba kung gusto nilang maging sweet sa isat isa then pag ayaw na, ayawan na lang. Simple. Ichika mo na lang. Hahaha joke. Bahala sila. Own world nila yan. Let’s leave it to them J abang na lang tayo pag awkward stage na sila. Hahaha

ano na ba talaga kasing status nyo? DTR na yan! Lol tapos share mo sakin J

paano ba yan friends? Nakarelate ka ba? Kung hindi, sorry, nasayang ko oras mo J kung oo, i hope you got something J

So yun! Wala nakong masabi pa ulit. Medyo nasabaw pako sa long exam namin sa anatomy e kaya medyo walang sense yan. Hihi til next babies! *wink* :* 

how

someone very close to me once asked me, 'how do you kill a feeling?' wow. that made me pause and think for a while. oo nga naman, how do youstop yourself from feeling the way you do? as for me, (nililinaw ko na ha, for me lang) you don't actually kill the feeling/s, you get used to it, live with it until it becomes part of your system, until it becomes part of you. it starts with getting by it day by day, until you get to realize that you have been doing it for a week and eventually survive through it for the whole month.

you dont just forget the feeling, or not feel it anymore, or kill it, you just get over it. gets mo? :) it's basically a slowly but surely type of process. and that's how you become stronger. once you get over it, the next time wouldn't hurt as much as it did. dibuhhhh :D you're ready to face it with a tougher and fiercer approach. and this time, you get to think wiser and make better decisions.

alam nyo guys, this may sound cliche, but it's true. pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. life's too short to dwell on the negativities that life's been giving you. and besides, ako, personally, i believe that you only get what you give to the world. kung mostly negativites yan, then try to think of living your life with a positive perspective. mahirap isipin kung titingnan mo in a bigger view, but, if you live it one day at a time, madali naman. hahaha tinatry ko din e ;) mas fun! hehe and ambilis na kaya ng oras! ngayon badtrip ka, then mamaya, okay ka na. o diba, bipolar lang? haha let go na natin ang mga nega sa life! remember, the only the difference between a good day and a bad ay is your attitude. :p

so there. said my piece kahit mej walang sense and all. haha :)))

and to my dear friend who feels down and negative, cheer up! choose to be happy! :)) you always have a choice, better yet, pick those that can make you smile :) remember, happy girls are the prettiest! 💋💋

yun lang! thanks for reading!

thoughts.

breath in. breath out. happy weekend peeps! 👍✌👊

perks of being an ADIK

Dont get me wrong ha, ‘adik’ is how we’re called J yes, the fans of Julie and julielmo. I want to make this post simple and direct as possible, yeah, so here.

Muka yata akong magsasales talk dito pero kebs. Bakit ba, this is my blog in the first place. Haha i just cant contain my gratefulness sa fandom where i belong kasi i know for a fact, and i proudly admit that this fandom has made me become a better person in almost all aspects of my life. Say mo? Swear! I never thought i’d get this far being a fan girl! Parang the love and admiration I have for Julielmo seem to grow each day until i can no longer express the kilig i have in a *idontknowtherighttermtoputhere* way. It’s indescribable. I cant just define it. Because im not good at it and i just know how to express and show it.

First of, I never thought i’d gain friends and ate’s here. As far as I can remember, nakikicomment lang ako sa twitter, tumblr, PEX and youtube. And then i started following some of them to have some kind of updates about Julielmo. But then, as time went by, yung dating sumisingit lang ako sa convo ng ibang adiks, naging katweet ko na din sila, and  i get to have some conversations with them na din. So, ang saya and nakakakilig because i was able to reach them and build friendship with them kahit online lang. (for sure, kapag nagkita naman kami i know we’ll be friends din)These people are very awesome and friendly and genuine kapag nakikipagusap sakin and i swear, i appreciate them so much and i learned to love and care for them.  So cute diba! I gained lots of friends talaga dito sa fandom na ito! Nakakatuwa and nakakakilig! Try mo! J

To name some, here are some of my favorites:

@revillarg –she’s on my toplist kasi my relationship with her is way beyond this fandom. She’s an ate, mind you, a very amazing ate kasi she’s true to her words and you easily get what she’s trying to say because she’s the type who say things straight. And most the time, we have the same feeling  about certain issues. One more thing i love about her is that she treats me as a sister. Yes, like an ate talaga to me! And she’s very sweet! She always makes me feel that I can count on her all the time and she makes me feel loved. For me, she’s the type of ate that one would want to have. And, i forgot to include pala, she’s my number1 source of kilig! Galing! We’re not in the same country, but she knows a lot about the fandom!

@imMichelleCabz – i cant look for the right words to describe this girl. She’s just awesome. She’s 3 years younger than me (yata) and she’s one of my babygirls in this fandom J  i treat her as a younger sister talaga, #nojoke. Talk about generosity,  responsibility and maturity; oh well, she has it. Really. When it comes to fancams and photos of Julielmo, swear, she has talent in photography! There are even times na i’d say mas maganda pa yung shots nya compared to those coming from the official eklavern. #nooffense and she’s very generous to share them with the fans. Well, i can say, she’s one of the pambato of this fandom. Another thing I admire about her is that she’s a responsible student. She juggles school and fangirling! Diba! Amazing! Proud ate here! I also said she’s mature kasi may sense sya kausap. She knows how to handle and manage her emotions when things arent going well in the fandom and she’s a source of positivity. Very admirable.

@enZane—she’s one of my favorite blogger. I admire her fluency when it comes to expressing her thoughts. Nakakahiya tuloy ako na baka may mali akong grammar or whatsoever dito. Haha basta. I always make sure to read her latest post on tumblr kasi nga she’s not bias. Kahit BV yan or ano pa man, she sticks with the truth and most of the time, kapag nagreact na sya at nagpost sa tumblr,  masasabi ko na lang na, ‘oo nga naman, bat ba di ko yun naisip.’ I admire her maturity also, with the way she view things on this fandom, she’s not mababaw and she keeps things simple and does not complicate things. (hi ateee!! Sorryyyy kung dinamay kita dito)

@TrishaMistica – one thing I love about her is that she’s very headstrong and fearless! Most of the time, naaaliw ako sa tweets nya and posts nya. She doesn’t mind her haters (yes, she has.) and dun ako natutuwa sa kanya. She knows how to deal with them. Minsan, parang matanda pa sya sa age nya kasi with the way she replies on the TA’s she receive on tumblr, you’ll see na she doesn’t get affected that much with her haters. Super positive lang. And i’m a fan of her fanfictions. Swear. Im one of those who keep on sending her TA’s, asking her to update. Hehe

@Jinx_yah--  she’s also one of my favorite co-adik. She is also one of my favorite fanfic writer. She’s also one of my favorite ate in this fandom. She is one of the best. <3 She is one of my favorite sa lahat when it comes to Julielmo. I am proud to admit na fan nya ako. In fact, gusto ko sya mameet nung concert ni Julie and have a photo with her! Hihi it all started when i was reading fix you, dun talaga! She has a creative mind and i can say na ang fluent nya din kaya nakakahiya din na ipabasa to sa kanya kasi madami mali. anyway, i would also like to add that she is so nice to me. Di sya snob or what kasi she finds time to reply kahit before pa sa tumblr and sa twitter. She’s also generous. She doesn’t hesitate to share her works and her thoughts. J

They are just some of my favorite people on this fandom. Andami nila masyado if I would name them all. They are my source of positivity kahit magulo na yung mga nangyayari and most of the time, sila yung bumubuhay sa timeline ko. I am proud to admit that I am a fan of these people. I will forever be thankful to this fandom because if not for it, i will not get to encounter   these amazing persons. Hihi yun lang. J believe me, nakikilig ako ngayon kasi finally i was able to express my admiration towards them and at the same time nahihiya ako because they may not like what i have just said about them. #mixedemotions Basta, as long as they are there, i’ll remain solid J  keep my word.

That’s it! I enjoy this fandom a lot! J thank you guys for being such a great influence to me! <3 spread the love!

 (im so sorry for my grammatical errors) peace :)

TGBTG

2 DECADES AND STILL COUNTING!

Yep! It’s my 20th birthday today!! I can’t fathom my happiness, to be honest  in the first place. Hahaha but, let me share with you guys some words of wisdom  (naks!) that can either help you or at least inspire you on your daily journey, and some facts about me that only some people know. (yuhhh, feeling celebrity on this partJ ) this is going to be a selfie kind of post, so you may click the close button this early. :p

Well im not gonna share how I celebrated my burpday, coz it’s simply walangkwents.hihihi (because i opted to spend it in a so-so way) not really interesting at all, but no regrets, just love!

It’s more fun being a 20! I tell you! Wow! Para namang antagal ko nang 20! Haha joke. I don’t really get it, but, it feels different when you wake up the next morning knowing that you’re no longer a teen. Parang, this is the real slap-in-the-face greeting na ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ANG TANDA MO NA!’ yan. Alam mo yun, you were used to count 14-15-16-17 and 18 (where almost errbody get giddy about you being a lady, but there wasno change at all. haha) then comes 19 and 20 finally. It may sound a bit cliche, but being blessed with another year is one of the greatest miracle a person could receive.

I can say that i have accomplished a lot, at this age. It’s normal. It is suppose to be normal. Right? A degree holder at the age of 19. Been a good daughter and friend ever since. Diba friends??? Haha yung mga friends and supporters ko, LABAS! Hahaha I can say that I am nice, friendly, somehow responsible and kind-of a mature person. O ha! Mature ako! At kineclaim ko yun! Pero at some point lang naman. Of course, there are some things that I still can not understand because I choose to do so. (immaturity strikes!)  There is a part of me that always look back and still enjoy being a child and carefree little girl. At isa na nga dun ang pagiging fan girl! Yes, i am a fan. For almost a decade also! Pero iba iba yan ha! Madami akong kinafaney-an! May  it be loveteam, local artist, book, movie, kahit pa yung mga lovestories ng friends ko! See! Because i get easily hooked and attached! Kasi naman e! But that is one the things that I never regret doing, because I enjoy it a lot! When I say a lot, I really mean A LOT! And my REAL friends know that.

Waking up with my friends’ greetings and phone calls is one of the perks of being a birthday celebrant. I enjoy reading long messages of friends because they get to be sweeter and it just makes you giddy with their words, saying how grateful they are for having you in their life. Diba! Aminin! Kahit minsan yung kabalahuraan mo, sya pang magsesend ng cheesy kind of message! Hahaha yan tayo e! Bumabaha ng i love you and i am grateful to have you sa mga texts! Naks! But what really made me smile were the messages that say how they admire me, being mature and responsible daughter and friend. Let me tell you this, for me maturity is a choice and a responsibility. Being an eldest to my two sibs, it’s both challenging and fun. Of course it is true that I have to put up a good example and practice what I preach. I believe that they look up to me, somehow and I have a great influence in them. What helps me a lot is having a good communication with them,  because I get their trust easily and it matters so much to me. And yes, the eldest in the family could relate to me when I say that it is a responsibility to be mature. As I said, there are little ones who look up to you and your responsibility is to not disappoint them, but to inspire them to do best. I am not a perfect daughter nor a perfect ate, but I am proud to say that I exert efforts to do my best and to be my best-est for them. 

Gaining a lot of friends...ANG SAYA ng buhay. They make things easier and you are more inspired to move and go on because of their motivation. They are also my inspiration. Alam nila yun. More often than not, I would prefer talking to them than doing some chores. Haha tamad e! Sa chika lang masipag! Haha They make me feel grounded and special at the same time. Some of them bring out the childish side of me. Sila yung mga super hyper and fun  kahit madaling araw na. Kung sa normal na tao, dapat nagrerecharge na ng energy, sila yung kaya mamaintain ang energy kahit 72 hours straight! Ganyan sila! There’s no need to name them one by one kasi mahaba masyado. Lol. Whoo wouldnt be thankful kung may mga ganyan kang friends? Diba? J Well, syempre, I also have those who keep me open minded and serve as a constant reminder that I am no longer a kid but a woman with sense and responsibility. They are like mentors, from who I get my wisdom and other virtues that I will forever be grateful for. J Kahit seryoso sila some times, I will always be thankful that I have them.  See! Meron akong different types of friends! O ha! Equilibrium! Lol :D

I AM VERY MADALDAL.  Yes. Alam mo yan kung magkaibigan tayo. Sure na! Hahaha! I like talking more than listening. But i don’t mean Im not a good listener. I listen when I have to. Talking is more fun for me! Yay! I get easily excited to share kwentos and chika kahit pa walang kwenta. Haha may it be about fashion, lifestyle, gossips, lahat na! Kahit pa tungkol sa nakita kong pusa sa highway o sa kasabay ko sa jeep na di ko kilala, basta napansin ko, ikekwento ko. This is me e. Naks! Conyo me! Lol. :D need i say more? Madaldal ako, swear! Hihi

May sense din ako minsan, look, these are THE TOP 5 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED IN MY 20 YEARS OF EXISTENCE hashtag ICAPSLOCKMOPARAINTENSE :D

1.       At the end of the day, yoou are alone in your journey. You have noone but yourself and God.

2.       Everyone can say something about you, but only those coming from the people important to you would matter.

3.       Only YOU can make you happy. It is a choice.

4.       Problems come. #thatisafact. They make you stronger. #anotherfact. And you wont appreciate life and lessons if not for them. #andanotherfact

5.       You are worthy of love and respect.

Eto yung feeling celebrity part. Hihi some facts about me J

1.       Mababaw lang kaligayahan ko sa lahat ng bagay. Madali ako pasayahin.

2.       I am very sensitive. I easily get hurt.

3.       I am a perfectionist most of the time. BUT. I. AM. NOT. PERFECT.

4.       I love having alone time (yuh, an introvert)

5.       I easily forgive but I never forget.

On this part, allow me to thank some people who made my previous year a blast. First of, my co-interns  and my staffs at DLS-STI and NCH—my internship was amazing and fun because of you guys! Also, my thesismates who have been patient and hardworking and...lahat na! My co-adiks who either make or break my day with their scoop of latest spotted issue or hulicam moements J they make my fan girl experience simply amazing. My facebook and twitter friends—who consist mostly of the adiks as well, I learned a lot from you and I enjoy being one of you! My forever sisters, the PG, college friends, babygirls and babyboys, and my family, thank you bigtime!  Lastly, to God, HEY! ANOTHER YEAR OF AMAZING MORNINGS and UNFORGETTABLE NIGHTS, PRETTY PLEASE?  I’LL MAKE YOU PROUD, PROMISE! 

Tama na yan ha? Madami bang mali? Sorry. Mababa grade ko sa english so pakicorrect na lang. Haha madami kang alam masyado. Try mo magteacher! Haha joke! Di ako harsh, mej masaya langJ thank you kung binabasa mo hanggang dito! Mwa!

TGBTG always! 

Love me or hate me.

Xoxo,

Rhea

a.k.a @ilovechueerry

twisted

i don't know how to start my post this time. andami kong gusto sabihin. my mind's about to   explode. andami kong iniisip, andaming concerns pero the thing is, they do nothing good to me. well, some of them actually give happiness, temporarily though. pero the bigger picture looks really ... ewan. 

one thing. change. yan. yan lang yung bagay na di ko talaga gusto. alam yan ng mga taong malalapit sakin e. di ko yan matanggap. i am the type of person who choose to stay in my comfort zone. comfort zone nga e. komportable na ko doon, aalis pa ba ako? that's my point. but the thing is, it's not permanent. nagbabago lahat ng bagay. kahit yung nakasanayan mo, nagbabago din. and that is my problem. i am not comfortable when it comes to change. i hate to hate it but i do, most of the time. i find it hard to adjust to new situations, hard to mingle with new people and and it takes a long time for me to warm up to them. bakit ba kasi di pwedeng constant na lang. na kung san ka nasanay, yun na. forever. what's the point of change? para ano? 

i admit. di ako adventurous na tao. ayoko yung mga risky na sitwasyon. gusto ko yung play safe lang. yung steady lang. i want it plain and simple para walang takot na baka may maging mali. yes. flat is boring but it's my preference most of the time. 

di ako fan ng thrills, except sa mga rides sa amusement parks. pero sa relasyon, hindi. i want it serious and long termed. wait. nawawala yung point ko. 

basta, what im trying to say is, i find it hard to adjust to change. i love my comfort zone. antagal ko makamove on. hirap ako maka accept ng mga bagay lalo na kung di kasama sa plano at matagal ulit ako bago makahanap ng bagong source of happiness. but i get attached easily. 

mahirap yun ha. yung tipong attached na attached ka na pero may magbabago na naman. daheck. masakit yon. sobra. but you got no choice left but to accept. ganun e. kalaban mo na lahat. parang you and only against the world. and that is never good. it would only cause you pain and pain and pain. 

at the end of this blog, wala naman akong point e. nagvent lang. nagrereklamo lang ako na nahihirapan akong magadjust at tumanggap sa mga pagbabago. didiskartehan ko na naman to nang sarili kong plano kung papano ko makakalimutan yung sakit ng realidad na di ko na pwedeng baguhin o ibalik sa dati. wala na e. nagbago na. gusto ko sanang umasa na maari din akong maging masaya sa mga ganap, pero mahirap talaga. e pinili ko to e. fight na lang. kanya kanyang laban lang yan. ang mahalaga, nalalampasan mo. hayaan mo na yung sakit. masasanay ka din. hahaha pakamasokista na. yun lang. yoko na. pagod na me. 

paisa lang ha, putanginangbuhayto. tanginatalaga. angsakit. anghirap. tama na. nakakapagod.