most influential people of my 2013

it's 2014 in less than 24 hours, so let share with you guys the top10 most influential people of my 2013. it is not my first time to make this kind of blogpost, but this year's top10 are somehow extra special because they had a great impact on me. At this early, allow me to thank you guys bigtime simply for existing and staying in my world. :)

2013 had been 'bipolar' to me. i mean, VERY BIPOLAR. first half of it was great and amazing in so many ways; then tables had turned during the second half. everything happened very very fast and i was left saying, "Ha? pano nangyari yun?" oh well, looking back at those memories makes me feel somehow thankful in a way because I won't be this tough and positive if not for those trials. and from being confused, I have gone to realize that things really do happen for a reason. yes, it may sound cliche but it's true. really.

To these amazing people, thank you for every simple thing you gave me, may it be a simple greeting or heart warming message. I treasure everything that comes from you guys, and I hope that this simple blog post serves as my token of appreciation for your wonderful share in my whole 2013.

1.     ate rose

 She’s on the top of the list simply because she was never gone and never late in all the happenings in my life. Ironically, she’s the last person i have met among my top10, because she lives in Singapore and just came to celebrate the holidays here. By the way, I have known her since 2011, I think, through twitter because we share the same interest in fangirling. Haha #alamnyonayan She’s been very kind and sincere and generous not only to me, but to all. Our friendship has gone beyond the fandom where we both belong and that makes me really feel blessed for finding a genuine friend and sister in her. There are times when we are both busy with other personal issues, but she never failed to reply and update me every once in a while. Truthfully, in my opinion, you don’t just trust the people you have not met even once, but she’s definitely different because she trusts me with her thoughts and is not hesitant to share what she’s going through. I am beyond grateful for the trust she has in me. This woman is indeed amazing in so many ways that I only have good words to describe her. I wish her all great things this 2014, and may all her wishes come true!

2.     katnabs

I must say, this girl is one of the most adorable girl friends I have. I've met her two years ago when we become classmates in some of our subjects.It must really be on purpose because she became my closest girlfriend during my internship at NCH. We've made lots of great memories—from night outs to sleepovers and random GH escapades, and I can even remember how we celebrated our Valentine’s day together at Greenhills. It was random and fun-filled.  She is simply a woman of surprises and spontaneity. I actually have a lot of reasons to be thankful to her—for being a supportive friend in my fangirling, helping me satisfy my cravings, always making time to accompany anywhere on Earth (chos!), for always having her condo and even her real home open for me and for simply being there during my craziest moment.  Despite the fact that we’re both busy now with our own responsibilities, we make sure to keep in touch and update each other every once in a while. I would really want to claim that what we have is a friendship made in heaven. To my St. Jude and online shopping buddy, I miss you bigtime!

3.     JVR

This must be the bravest post I have made about him. From being ‘Himmy,’ I am now giving his initials. Yes. There’s no point actually in giving his full name simply because most of my friends know who he is. Once and for all, I am now posting this because it’s safe to say that what we had is finally over and done, and our last serious talk must have been one of the highlights of my year. Don’t get me wrong, we cleared things up and decided to just go on our personal business separately; in which I meant to have our communication completely stopped at all means. I’m glad that he agreed on that and was gentleman enough to respect my decision. I have to admit that I have learned a lot from the friendship that we shared and, what we went through made me realize lots of things when it comes to faithfulness and maturity in handling relationship. It’s kinda complicated to give my message to him because I don’t actually have anything to say but, thank you and Goodluck.

4.     sarah, djanix and queennie

These GIRLS (for you djanix) are also my internship buddies. Talk about random hangouts, foodtrip and crazy bonding—they’re just never out. I always look forward to have my duty spent with them on benign days to have more chikahan moments (which rarely happened). This circle is actually a mix of different personalities—queennie is the good girl supportive type, sarah would be the ‘always on-the-go’ carefree type and my baby djanix is always the chill one and ‘whatever happens, I’m good’ haha. Ypu see, being with them balances my personality and always keeps me constantly going in my routine. One common thing that they always do which I love the most is that they always brighten up my day in different ways. A normal and dull duty day would turn out to be a day of fun and laugh with them. Hi girls! Bonding soon? ;)  

5.     maam fely and maam jess

They are my favorite staffs at NCH lab simply because they are very considerate and loving to their interns. I consider Maam Fely as a second mother and Maam Jess as a sister and a friend. They are both humble and sincere. I have made lots of great memories with them, and they know it. J I don’t regret sharing embarassing experiences with them because I know that they are worthy of my trust, in the same way that I am claiming to be worthy of their trust as well #alamnyoyan To these two great women, thank you and I wish you both a prosperous 2014!

6.     janelle and jandrei

I have always been a ‘fan’ of their romance. The kilig that they gave me this year was hardcore, I must say. hihi I was there during the start of it all and I have witnessed almost everything they have gone through before  openly admitting their relationship. A lot had been said about them but thank heavens, they were not affected and became even stronger and braver to face every challenge together. As normal couple, they have their own bad times, which honestly affect me so much (downsides of being a fan lol) but thank heavens again, at least one of them would stand and be mature enough to initiate making up, not out. Hihi joke :p I can see how mature they have become and how they complement each other in so many ways. I also learned a lot from them, and I am so proud of what they have become now because of each other. I can safely say that they  influence each other in positive ways and I am just a happy fangirl here. J To both of you, I’m looking forward to more kilig stories and may you have sweeter 2014!

7.     jessa

I’ve known this lady for almost a decade now and I am beyond grateful for having her stayed with me through out everything. She’s my favorite listener when it comes to fangirling issues, simply because she can relate J she’s never tired when it comes to being there for me, no matter what time of the dayor whatever mood she’s into. I am beyond lucky to have her. One of my most treasured moments with her this year would have to be our hardcore fangirling moment at a concert last May. She came over all the way from Batangas to watch the concert with meJ cute namin no? Hihi clingy forever. Aside from fangirling, of course we are also sharing the same up and down moments in our course. Despite the hardships that were thrown at us during this year, we never gave up and just kept on supporting each other in best way we can. I know that it has been a wonderful year full of lessons learned and awesome experiences for her and I am sincerely happy for all the blessings she has received. It was a great year for our friendship and I am excited to see her in a couple of days to have some catching up. To you my forever babygirl, i love you to the moon and back, I swear to all Gods of Hindus <3

8.     meng and mich

I have met these two a couple of weeks ago, during Mich’s 18th birthday where in I was part of her 18 candles. They are both nice and jolly. They can turn a serious talk into a funny one with their wit and random arguments. By the way, they are my co-faneys too. What I love about them is that no matter how hopeless the case had seemed to all of us, they never gave up and stayed solid, which really uplifts some faneys like me. They are positive in what the future holds and are not easily turned down. Another thing I love about them is that, they are genuine and not two-faced. You can see them as outspoken and loud (in positive ways, most of the time) in twitter, in the same way that they are in person. I am grateful to have met them and spent bonding moments with them.  I have not spent  lots of time with them yet, but I am looking forward to that. To both of you, I’m wishing you a prospeerous 2014, and more bonding moments! Isaw soon? J

9.     arrah, kaze and kath

My medlife would have been boring if not for these girls. I owe them a lot! They know how hard it is for me adjust, but they made everything a lot easier and fun. For the past 7 months, my medlife was a combination of random and crazy moments, almost all of which are attributed to them. Haha In times of toxic schedule and exam-filled week, we make sure to unwind and relax, one thing that I enjoy a lot. Just like a typical barkada, we’re also a  mix of different personalities which happen to jive and complement one another. Kath was my first ever friend among the three. She is shy at first, but once you get to know her, she’s fun  and easy to get along with. One thing I like about her is that she’s a good listener J Kaze, on the other hand is the good girl/prim and proper/ dalagang Pilipina type. She sings so well and is pretty too. She is also shy and quiet at first but as time passes, you’ll notice how crazy and weird sha can be. Arrah, my favorite bully-buddy is the craziest and funniest among us. I love talking to her because she knows exactly what to say and when to say things. I’ve always believed that we have the same wavelength and mindset most of the time and that bonds us a lot. She seemed to be suplada at first but when you get to be close to her, you’ll never spend a dull and boring day with her jokes and sarcasm. To the three of you, I miss you girls! See you all very soon!

10. my cousin slash sister tupay :)

This year have been great for her. She graduated from her course and passed the Nursing Board Exam. She’s one hell of an achiever. Aside from being a great daughter (at times, lol), she never failed to be a amazing cousin to me and my sister. We have made lots of memories and shared lots of secrets this year, and I know, there’s more to come. Hahaha Seriously speaking, she is so far my favorite cousin because she has always been sincere with thoughts and was always very considerate to others (to the point that it’s no longer fair on her part). I would always love to look back at our random sleepovers, crying moments and inside jokes that only few understand. Well aside from those crazy moments, this year also gave her a lot of new experiences, one of which is having a boyfriend. She knows how much I appreciate her concern for us that’s why I am so happy that she has finally found someone who would show her the the special kind of concern and love she deserves, and would bring out the best in her. To you my dear, I’ll see you tonight! Love you forevs!

I must have done something good in my life to have met these amazing amazing persons. I will always be grateful to all of you and I wish you all a happy and prosperous 2014. God Bless you all! <3

--chuerry, 2013

A/N:  full names are intentionally not indicated for privacy purposes :)

it's that time of the month again when i get too emotional and I overthink a lot. so here's the thought for tonight. I went over my timeline on twitter and saw one tweet of a friend narrating how her boyfriend surprised her on a random day at work.  I smiled at the thought at first then came in the question after, 'will i also exoerience that?' oopps! insi alert. gets? haha

i used to daydream a lot about my future relationship- sweet moments, surprises, celebration of the --saries and a lot more. haha funny as it may seem but for a hopeless romantic like me, things like those are still going to take time but i am confident enough that it'll happen.

sometimes i get too idealistic to the point that my thoughts are somewhat far from reality. in my opinion, it's basically a matter of perspective. as long as i can imagine it real, then it is. if i can see someone can do it, then it could happen. problem with people sometimes nowadays is that, they get too practical and tend to forget that effort counts a lot bigtime. that's one of the common causes of fights between couple. they exert effort effort but not enough. i mean, why not give your 100%, you're doing it anyway? but that's reserved for another post.

by the way, christmas is fast approaching and i cant wait to celebrate and start merry making. but, may we not forget that sharing is the real spirit of christmas. in times of crisis like what we have now, there's no need to wait for christmas for us extend our hands to the people in need. i hope that everyone gets aware on what they could do to help and start doing their part to reach out to the victims of calamity. let us remember that it will always better to give that to receive. :)  we're so blessed to be a blessing to others :) thank you! let's keep spreading the love!

heart blanket

there's this lyrics of one song that i'm currently listening at the moment that captured my attention fully. it goes like this:  "you put your arms around me and i'm home"

it just makes me feel so good and warm despite this cold Christmas breeze. it puts me in mood actually. there goes my little piece for this time. goodnight! ❤️❤️

sneak peek

it's been four long months since i started living alone, and become totally independent. talk about complete independence. don't get me wrong, i don't mean those 'carefree' or 'YOLO' or 'young, wild and free' kind of living, or how ever you may want to call it. what i actually mean is that I am living alone, yes literally, doing errands for my self and completely independent (except financially, of course) 

This experience of mine is somehow not new to me since I am used to living in a dorm or condo during my college years, for the last 4 straight years. I used to stay with my highschool barkada during those times, so that 'homesick' feeling was not that terrible. you know it's different when you have room mates and friends with you or some people to talk to when you feel down or stressed. they would somehow cheer you up.

Living far from my family is not new, however, living far from them ALONE is completely a different story. No more roommates and late night chikahan sesh. gosh. the thought was really impossible especially for a madaldal person like me. Surprisingly, I was able to survive and still surviving! oh, scratch that, i am actually enjoying it. yes. no doubt. don't get me wrong again on that note, what i actually want to say is that living alone has given me a lot of chances of growing emotionally and getting to know myself a lot better. And those moments make me enjoy this pretty little independent living even more.

Well those 4 months were a bit rough due to some major adjustments, but getting used to doing those was not that really hard. Talking about MAJOR adjustments this time. Many of my friends know how I hate paying bills on my own. But hey, mind you, it's already part of my monthly checklist! good thing that the office at the basement of my pad collects our monthly bills (electricity, water and even my telephone and internet bills) so there's less hassle for a busy person like me. :p Another checklist that I actually  have to accomplish is doing the groceries. This time, I do it twice a month. My friends know how much I enjoy pushing carts and selecting goodies at the supermarket. haha yes, doing those wifey stuff during weekends is one of my therapies in unwinding and releasing the stress of the week! :) 

On this part, I would basically share my routine lifestyle for the past 4 months :))

MONDAY	TUESDAY	WEDNESDAY	THURSDAY	FRIDAY
ANATOMY (8-12)	ANATOMY (8-12)	ANATOMY (8-10)		HISTOLOGY (8-12)
			BIOETHICS(10-12)
LUNCH	LUNCH	LUNCH	LUNCH	LUNCH
PHYSIOLOGY (1-5)	PHYSIOLOGY (1-5)	FCM (1-3)	BIOCHEMISTRY (1-5)	BIOCHEMISTRY (1-5)

As you can see, I have a full 5-day load of my subjects during the week. (So to my friend whom i had to turn down, now you see) I actually don't want to brag about it, but my course demands so much time and effort and is too clingy and possessive. yes. But that 5-day schedule does not really mean I have the remaining 2 days for myself. oh how i wish. My school hours doesn't even end at 5pm. seriously. if there's no take home worksheets, then there must be something wrong. hahaa 

So I usually wake up a bit earlier than the usual, (6 15 if my bed allows, but 6 30 most of the time due to bed issues) because I still have to cook for my breakfast and baon. you know, i don't wanna feel dizzy or light headed during my morning class, and it's Anatomy for Pete's sake. My usual breakfast is the same as my baon for lunch for a less time consuming preparation. Since my parents would visit me weekly, I would just have to re heat the food that they bring. easy way out, I know. haha so, yeah, i would just have to cook rice, re heat my dish and tadaaa! breakfast and lunch on! 

I usually eat before taking the shower. and i eat fast, say my food get cooked by 6 45, i will hit the shower before 6 55. well  i find it quick. :) and i don't wash my dishes. i throw them after use. joke! hahaha i wash them once I get back from school, together with my lunchbox :) by 7 40 in the morning, i am already preparing to leave my place to walk to school (yes, i live near the university) and arrive just a few minutes before my first class starts.

By the time I came back at aroung 5pm, i would wash my dishes right away. take a rest for an hour, go to shower and take a long nap. By the time I wake up, it is almost 10pm or so and i am recharged and kinda ready to do my homeworks and study for the next day's exams. Dinner? most of the time, I just grab any fruit available in the fridge or reheat any left over. again. Scavenger ang pegaloo. hahaha  Usually, i sleep at 2am then the wake up again at 6 15 or 6 30. the routine just go on.

During friday nights, when almost all my energy is drained, i would normally sleep earlier and longer. just the typical school girl trying to recharge her system. but waking up during Saturday is not that different from the rest of the days in the week. I would still have to do some scanning of notes, review then write notes. Same with Sundays. The only difference is that I can actually have breaks any time, review anywhere and just stop if I want. 

 there are also some changes in my schedule, like when I actually go home to province, there's definitely nothing accomplished. i would rather catch up with the fam and spend bonding moments with them rather than review. and i intentionally do not bring any review material. hahaha bad ass. lol i need some R & R also, and I obviously make the most out of it!

To tell you honestly, the 4 months that i've spent were so far kind to me. I enjoy being independent and being completely responsible for myself. One of the perks of living alone is that you get to do things freely, without having to consider anyone else. Also, you get to discover a lot about yourself, learn a lot on being practical and it allows you to live a lifestyle that is healthy and active. 

It will still be a long way to go, I know and I can't wait to try lots of new things  and discover more on what's out right there for me. I just believe that life will always be kind as long as you see things in the brighter side and in a more positive perspective. 

I guess this is it. I hope you had a great time reading this post. thank you very much!

remembrance

today is september 22 and i want to remeber this date :) i feel kilig because my crush just called me princess. wtf. i can't even! ugh.

when

when will i learn?

when will i stop?

kelan ba ako mapapagod at kelan ba ako matututo? kelan ba ako dapat tumigil? is there really a definite time or moment? when will i know the right time?

to be honest, these past few weeks had been very cruel not only to me, but to other people who are waiting, hoping and praying for something that we've been craving for. have you ever felt that? that moment when everything seems to be falling out of place and time seems to pass so damn slowly? like you're walking along what seems like an endless tunnel with no light of hope? and you're supposed to feel tired but you felt numb instead? you kept on walking until the end of the tunnel just to find out that there's basically nothing in the end.

you tell yourself that you went through this and you got over this and you can get over this AGAIN.

well now, it is different. i am torn between risking for the possibilities of a happy ending and believing the realities of a nightmare. which is which? how long should i hold on? how soon should i let go? was everything worth it?

you'll never understand this unless we're on the same boat. unless you're in my shoes. unless it is happening to you.

you'll never feel the way i do unless you have hoped for something, prayed for something and waited for something without any assurance of it coming. you'll never feel the way i do unless you loved selfishly and selflessly at the same time, and still do.

being in this journey has always been compared to a roller coaster ride. the unfathomable intensity of extreme emotions in one ride will either keep you enjoying the whole ride or slowly kill your enthusiasm. it will both send you chills of giddiness and bitterness.

at this point, i am confused. i feel nothing. i feel like i don't want to think anymore. i am not functioning well. i am so drained that even emotions are strange to me now. i don't know how to feel anything anymore. i am only surviving each day to let time pass. i am empty. i feel empty.

i feel nothing.

girl of the hour ❤

to one of the toughest woman i know, 

hiiii vivi gerl! happy birthday! i know that you're having quite a hard time now (medyo alammo yan nang very very light) but let me tell you how great your transition has been and how amazing you have become. 

remember the past 4 years when you were struggling to pass all your upcoming quizzes, practicals and major exams? when you were up until sunrise just to finish the report for your laboratory experiment? when you had to spend your breaks for reviews for the next period? the busy schedule plus the demanding friends, plus lovelife and break up all at the same time!  those things you did just to be where you are now? oh well, you're having them again, more and worse :) despite that, you accomplished everything successfully.  you are one hell of a great achiever vivi :) you were struggling to pass, but you have received more than passing remarks, and you freaking deserve it. :) 

have i told you how proud i am of you? ay oo. palagi yata. hihi and with matching teary eyes pa. lol. yeah, but those are just plain 'congrats baby girl' so, here. God knows how proud I am of you and how great my dreams for you are. just so for you to stop thinking that nobody appreciate all the hard works you do. lol. kidding. pero isa na yon sa mga rason. hahaha :D i believe in every thing that you can do and in all your potentials, kaya please naman, have faith on yourself. kung ganyan ako kaganda at kasipag at katalino at lahat na, i would definitely have no time to entertain insecurities or other negativities that occupy my head. how many times do i have to tell you that YOU are AMAZING woman that it is definitely other people's loss if they choose to give up on you? uso magising uy! hihi hashtag patawad ✌

i want you to realize how blessed you have become, not only for those material things and recognitions you acquired, but also for the "EXTRAORDINARY" experiences that you have gone through. diba? naiisip mona? there were lots of things na napag daanan mo, but they didn't kill you, they made you stronger. sabi nga sa kanta, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. lol maisingit lang. (btw, im watching conjuring at this moment) and i believe, you are strong. and you too, you have to believe that you are. para naman malampasan mo yan. hihi lammoyan 

remember how i keep on telling you to let things happen naturally? to allow yourself to feel everything at its own course of time? remember how i keep on arguing with you and your issues? how we (mabel and i) battled to fight that 'stubborn kid' inside you? hihi remember how you keep on pushing and fighting for your reasons but ending up retracting and losing the argument because you admit that you were not able to think for other's behalf? that is how strong your personality is. that is how experiences knock you. and we've all seen that.  

we were all witnesses of your hard works, pain and sacrifices. may it be for your academics, family, friends or ex. lol patawad. sink in na ba? hihi patawad ulit. :) you have gone through a alot and i want you to know that there are more in store for you. haha oo, alam ko, ako ang nagdidikta ng tadhana mo. kidding.  remember, you have US. you may lose SOME people along the way, but that would mean another free space for someone better to come along. believe that life has a lot more to give you that would help you become the person they never thought you would be. you yourself may not be able see how things would work, but i tell you, they'll be fine. keep on reminding yourself of your worth, so you don't settle for less than what you deserve.  you've been through this. alam mo yan. and this one is the same thing. this just came in a different approach, having different reason. but definitely needs the same adjustments. baka itanong mo na naman kung anong mali mo ha? or kung anong kulang mo? lol. wala. naattach ka lang. you hoped, you loved. and that babygirl, i tell you is never wrong. you don't stop yourself from loving and caring for people who were once part of your life. you don't turn that love into hate either. you keep on wishing them well and yourself better. hirap no? but that is how it really is.

for how many years have life been so challenging for your emotions? it keeps on knocking you on your core. on your weakest point. siguro nga it's about time that you accept na hindi ka mahal ng diyos. lol joke. it just means to say na kaya mo. :) and one reason siguro is that hindi ka pa din naniniwala na you are worthy of something better. there is something better.  have you read that once? that sometimes people can not let go because they don't believe that something good can happen twice. di man exact, pero parang ganyan din. haha i know how hard it is to let go of the things you're used to. to hope for that one thing for a long time, just to find out that it was an empty promise. sakit no? but that happens. people hurt people. intentionally or not. and the one's that are hurt suffer from the pain and heal by themselves alone. and you, my dear, is going through such right now. (yung totoo, paulit ulit ko tong binabanggit) patawad. you have to heal by yourself alone. kaya mo yan. believe that you can, and your half way there. that's a cliche but i know you know that's true. 

letting go, and moving on is no new to you. but, acceptance, letting go and moving on with a light heart is completely a different story. i know. you might be blinded by the tears and pain that you are suffering from right now, but remember, it is not always you alone. there are always 2 sides of a coin.  you know your story very well, but you have no idea how the other side has come up with his own. don't let pain get the best in you. don't let yourself see through the negative traits in people. there are still great memories to keep. it was a good experience after all. when hate starts to creep up on you, remind yourself that you can do better. and you are better than that. it's hard but once you start doing it, the next steps wouldn't hurt. 

allow yourself to fully embrace life and its gifts to you alone. to explore things and reach wider horizons. allow life to be cruel, for it would shape you into a better you. allow experiences of heartbreaks to knock you on your core for it would make you stronger and wiser. allow experiences

 to change you in a good way. people keep on coming and just leaving. let them. you have a life

 of your own, live it. people would hurt you, so bad that you may not forget, but forgive them anyway. not everyone can understand you, but that doesn't mean that there's no one. you always have me. us. 

cry when your heart can no longer hold its strings together. laugh at life's ridiculousness. love when love comes. feel every emotion freely and fully, without having to skip a step in recovery. free yourself from hurt and pain. allow time to heal you. believe me, allow it and it would :) 

i can't say anything more to you. i've known you for almost a decade and you never fail to humor me and inspire me at the same time. you are mature and immature in your own ways and i admire you for  that.  you can always have that intelligence and wit work at the same time. one thing that i would never get tired of admiring. :) always know that no matter what happens, may you fail or succeed, be in love and in pain, pass exams or not, or be feel unappreciated or overwhelmed, you'll always have that one fangirl sister ready to support you in any means, at all levels. ❤ that's how great our friendship is. 

so, let me thank you this time for all the things you have given me, may it be material things or time especially, for the advises and remarks, for the support and love and care and concern that sometimes really makes me want to believe how amazing life is despite the struggles that i have. thank you for being with me in all my ups and downs, may you know it or not. i may have not told you how grateful i am to have you in my life, knowing that you are a text away or a tweet away when i need you. hihi salamatsssss phowzzz :) 

i wish you all the best in life! and may your journey along the 20's road be fruitful and worthy for keeps. *wink* i wish for more people to inspire you to do better and bring out the best in you. i wish you all the time in the world to heal and make you realize your worth. i wish you to feel all the love that you deserve more than the love that you lost. and lastly, i wish you more wisdom to shape you to become a more mature (haha patawad) and well rounded person. hihi dont get me wrong, ill never

 get tired of dealing with you and your issues. hahaha im used to it! :) i appreciate those more, rather than you not telling me anything at all. :) so thank you for being open and for the trust. i hope you don't get tired of sharing. we'll never get tired of listening. that is an oath. :) hihi 

you have gone through a lot wisely. and i know that this time, you are even wiser. the sweetness of any chocolate may not be enough to ease the pain and the longing, but the sweetness of our friendship would do. it's a happy birthday after all :) 

i love you always :)  

enjoy your day! you're on your early 20's alreadyyy! cheers to a good life ahead vivi! 💋💋💋