23

And now my thoughts are clouded with 'What ifs' and 'What could have beens'. I can't help but ask myself countless times why I had to let you go or why I had to go away. We could've made it until today. But maybe there were several reasons...maybe  I was too young back then, or we were too young, or I got too scared that the overwhelming thrills you gave me would vanish into thin air without a warning, or maybe simply because my feelings were not strong enough to hold on. Another reason was probably because I realized it was too strong to the point that we crossed the line and made everything wrong. Maybe I was selfish and selfless at the same time. The reasons are endless yet I could not find which one exactly answer the question. But with all these reasons coming out my mind, I just can't fathom how exactly I feel right now. I'm left with questions that will never be answered and I have to content myself with that. 

As for now, I know you're truly happy with what's going on in your life, I'm happy for you too. I could have posted an old photo of us together, with a lengthy and mushy message but I don't have the right to. And with that, I only wish you a lifelong happiness with whatever comes your way. 

All the best!

-rhea