sumthin'

there's something inside my head that has been going on for quite a while, which I can't seem to express fully. I'm in the middle of countless thoughts that continue to drown me every single night before I sleep, in the morning when I wake up, in the stillness of water as I take my shower or even when I plainly sit inside my classroom. A lot has been going on inside my head though my recent days in school were uneventful. I'm not sure if it's just the usual me being an over thinker or I'm going too fast that I'm now losing my track. I'm not sure if I'm still willing to do things or I'm ready to give up or is there any part in my past that needed closure or am I doing everything in a different way.... there are so many questions I tried escaping from, but they are so damn strong I'm now drowning in them. I thought I needed rest or any sort of breaks from this routine but I'm in that point of my life now that a single pause would ruin everything and I'm not willing to risk EVERYTHING just to figure things out. I'm not sure where I'm heading to or who I wanted to be with in this journey or what I really wanted to do now or when will I ever BREATHE some fresh air or .... I don't know now. I'm emotionally preoccupied by things that can give me temporary happiness or any of that sort and I'm not sure until when would this last. But now, I'm back to my usual mantra: 'To survive the day and sleep' That's all.