battlefield

I'm in a middle of confusing thoughts. They're mostly about myself, of who am I really, what I really feel, what I really want to do. Every thing about me just seem so contradicting. Not sure if hormones have something to do with this, but one thing is for sure, and that is the certainty that I'm not happy. I feel so guarded, with the things I wanna say, with stuff I wanna do and all. And I can't just share this to my 'friends' because I feel kinda uncomfortable. I feel so different. It's like my efforts are worthless. I feel like I'm in a middle of battlefield where everyone is against me. How do I win this battle?